The Rev. Carol S. Wedell
November 9, 2008

Do you remember the commercial a while back that began with a dimly lit house, and a worried voice that said, "It's 11 pm.  Do you know where your children are?"  The goal, of course, was to remind parents of teenagers of their responsibility for the children. 

But what if we turned it around?  The picture is a half-full sanctuary on Sunday morning.  The question to the children and youth would be, "it's 11 am on Sunday morning.  Do you know where your parents are?"  For those of you without children, how would a member of the younger generation answer that question about you?

Maybe your children have never been asked that particular question, but let me assure you, they would know the answer.  Is it the answer that reflects your deepest commitments and priorities?

I believe in truth in advertising, so let me admit up front that this is a stewardship sermon.  You probably have even received your letter and pledge card from our stewardship chair, Edie Dieckow. (If not, I am sure we can find one for you!) If you're like most people, you are probably thinking, "Here she goes again.  The church is always talking about money."  And you would be partially right and partially wrong.  I talk about our relationship to money because it was one of Jesus' favorite topics. Even in Jesus' day, wealth was a major stumbling block to faithful discipleship.  Our relationship with money is a pretty good indicator of our faith journey.

I used to hate to preach on stewardship until I really understood that connection.   It's about discipleship, about following Jesus, about choices and priorities, not about the money itself.  And that's the partially wrong part.  Christian stewardship includes finances, but it certainly doesn't stop there.  It includes all of our life: yes, how we spend our money, but also how we spend our time, how we expend our energy, how we use the abilities that we have been given.  Does our life reflect our deepest values?

Anyone who has been a parent for very long knows that our children watch us.  They listen to what we're saying - especially when it's not intended for their ears.  They notice how we react in various situations and to various people.  We think we fool them, but they pick up the subtle clues about who we enjoy and those folks we aren't eager to be with.  Most of the time, they get a pretty good read on what is important to us. But if they are young, they may miss something meant to be humorous or sarcastic.

A story from my family of origin points out that dilemma.  My older sister's class was supposed to sing The Battle Hymn of the Republic for a school assembly or concert.  With an altogether serious face, my sister would tell her teacher every day, "I can't sing that song." - meaning that she wasn't allowed to sing it.  Finally the teacher called my mother to find out what was up - why my sister would say she wasn't allowed to sing a standard patriotic song.  Mom thought for a minute and then realized what had happened.  You see, my Mom grew up in the south.  And even in the 1930's, the remnants of the Civil War (the "War Between the States" - or even "The war of Northern Aggression!") were evident.  They didn't sing the Battle Hymn there.  They sang Dixie!  My sister had heard that often enough that she thought she would be unfaithful to our family if she sang with her class!

But most of the time, when our children show us they've been watching and listening, they are right on the mark.   I'm embarrassed to share this story, but it makes the point crystal clear.  Scott was 2 years old and I was a single parent.  That meant that with the exception of day care and some time with his father, I was his primary caregiver and unquestionably made the biggest impact in his life.  One day, Scott walked into our laundry room which was right off the kitchen and saw a huge cloud of dark smoke come out the door.  "Oh ...expletive deleted."  Perfect context.  Right inflection.  Mortified mother.  There was no one else to blame but myself.  My child had certainly been watching and listening.  And he was only 2! 

Our children, both our own and those who see us at in any context are watching and learning from us every day.  Our text for today, the first seven verses of Psalm 78 (the second longest psalm) speaks of the necessity of each generation passing on to the next the stories of God's faithfulness and love.  "We will not hide God's teachings from their children; we will tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done....(God) commanded our ancestors to teach their children; that the next generation might know them, the children yet unborn, and rise up and tell them to their children, so that they should set their hope in God."  (Psalm 78 4-6, adapted).

The Israelites are to teach the coming generations all that God has done.  Why?  So that they should set their hope in God.  Remember that at the time this was written there were plenty of other gods to worship.  The Hebrews frequently wandered away from faithfully following the one true God.  But God is clear.  Hope isn't to be found in something or someone else.  Hope is found in God alone.

So how did they teach?  They taught their children by telling the stories until they knew them by heart.  They taught the children by following the commandments, by worshiping at the synagogue, by obeying dietary laws and other things that set them apart as Jews.  They taught their children by the way they lived what was most important to them.  By their living they demonstrated God's place in their lives.

Think about what you learned from the generation ahead of you - both good, bad, silly or serious.  What did you learn about God?  About money?  What did you learn about how anger should be expressed - or not? About people that were different than you?  Do you still believe everything you were taught, or have you grown into some knowledge of your own?

Brothers and sisters in Christ, our children are watching us and they are learning from us.   Are they learning what we want them to?  Is God first in your life?  How would your children know that by your actions? What have you taught them about money - and how have you reacted in the face of the recent economic crisis?  This could be an interesting and important conversation to have at home!

Children - and especially youth have radar for hypocrisy.  They understand when you're telling them one thing and doing something else.  It's pretty tough to tell your kids not to drink and drive if you do.  I think all three of our kids at some point have asked me why I go 40 when the speed limit is 35mph.  How do you answer that one?

As I reflect on what Mark and I have taught our children about our relationship to God, I have mixed feelings.  I would give us an "A" in some categories, and a "barely passing," in others.  For example, through high school none of our kids have ever questioned going to church - it was just something we did.  (Remember that until I began here not quite 4 years ago, I was not serving a church full-time, so the kids weren't going to church because I was there.).  After I began here at Church of the Western Reserve, the boys got themselves down to Church of the Covenant, where they grew up and were members.  After Scott went off to college, Justin would call and get himself a ride every single week.  There were never any arguments - it was just like getting up and going to school.  Our family went to church.  We can probably take the "A" there.

What about money and the church?  Definitely lower marks.  They know that we give to the church, but they don't know how much or how it relates to what we earn.  When they were small our goal was to give them an allowance and have them save 10% and put 10% in a box marked "for others."  This could be given to church, to a special project at school or any charity they felt good about.  The idea was a good one.  Our follow through was pathetic.  We've never been regular with allowance, and haven't encouraged saving or giving a percentage of what they have to the church.  This grade wouldn't be so good - maybe D+ or C-?

Particularly because we put money in the category of "things not to talk about in front of other people," our children learn most about our relationship to money by what they see us do.  Some things need explanations.  For example, we charge everything - but pay it all off at the end of the month.  They wouldn't know that if we hadn't explained it.

In the same way, we should be upfront about what we give to God and why.  It's a choice that we make and it impacts other choices as well. If we don't model behavior that shows generosity and gratitude to God, they will learn that it isn't all that important.  If we give generously, even sacrificially, they'll learn that's what followers of Christ do.  It's an important part of being a disciple, because it says quite clearly what matters most to us.

The subject of financial stewardship in general is usually a very sensitive one because whether we'd like to admit it or not often our money and our possessions are very close to our hearts and usually occupy entirely too large of a place there. How do I know? I contribute to this congregation too, just like the rest of you. And as all of you should know, I am not immune to the call of consumerism.

Next week you'll be asked to turn in a pledge card - an estimate of what you plan to give to the church.  I am very aware that the current economy has left many of us feeling anxious financially.  It impacts each of us in different ways, but make no mistake - it will impact us all.  Those of us my generation and younger have never lived through such a time.  Many of us have not been asked to sacrifice for the greater good as virtually everyone did during World War II. It seems apparent that for the good of our country and our world, our lifestyles will likely need to change.  We will need to set our priorities on things that really  matter.

If you need to cut back, what goes first?  What goes last?  Where does the church fall? Friends, our children are watching.  If they see that entertainment is more important to us than the body of Christ and its mission to the world, they'll know what we value.  Likewise, if we explain that we're not going out to dinner as often, because we're giving more to the church or to others in need, they'll know what we think is really important.

As last year, Mark and I will be making strides toward giving a full tithe to the church.  We have two children in college and most of their college money is in the stock market.   I can assure you that there will be other choices that we will have to make.  But we have an opportunity to be a part of a church that sees beyond its own doors to those whose needs are far greater than our own.   We have an opportunity to let our checkbook be a better reflection of what we say we believe.

In a year like this how do we demonstrate that our hope is not in the stock market but in God?  By giving more, not less.  By eating more simply so that we can give more food to the Foodbank.  By purchasing fewer clothes, so that we can buy boots and coats for children who do not have them.  By simplifying the holidays.  The list is endless.

I know that some of you are already giving at a sacrificial level.  For the rest of you, I would ask you to challenge yourself and see if your gift to God through Church of the Western Reserve is a true reflection of God's place in your life.  I understand that many of you choose to support other worthy charities that are also doing God's work.  Certainly that giving is also valuable and important.  Whatever you are giving currently, aim to see if you can bump that up - even if it calls for some harder choices on your own part.

Percentages are not the key.  But don't let your giving to God be leftovers.  Is that where your relationship with God is?   An interesting thing happens when we give more.  Our investment in that place or person increases dramatically..  Put your gift to God (through the church and otherwise) at the top of your budget and work from there.  See what happens - I think you'll be surprised.

I have asked the Session not to recommend a pay raise for me this year, so that any "extra" funds beyond the essential needs of the church may be used for local mission - needs that are already increasing substantially.  I believe that the Session is both realistic and frugal in looking at programmatic needs, and expenses that are difficult to control.  We don't spend what we don't have.

But sisters and brothers, this isn't about the budget. It's about our need to be faithful, our need to grow in our love for God, our need to live in such a way that our children will look back and say, "I learned to be generous from my parents and the people at my church."   Or as Eugene Peterson paraphrases a part of Psalm 78, "Know the truth and tell the stories so their children can trust in God.'

I read the following story online, unfortunately from a source I can't remember. On one Saturday, a particular church had been asked to ring the bell for the Salvation Army bucket. The pastor told this story:  I thought I should take a turn myself. It was fascinating to see how people responded. I noticed that there were two groups that responded in extraordinary numbers: (Village Church) members of my church -(I like to think that they would have been generous no matter who was ringing the bell). But the others who responded in extraordinary ways were the parents with children. And the reason seems clear enough: they knew that there were very important eyes on them-the eyes of their children. That experience was an important reminder to me, and to parents and grandparents and to all who have some special tie to a child: there is nothing we can give our children-no toy, no trip, no tuition-that is more important than the gift of our generosity to others. It is the one thing that will not and cannot be taken away from them.

Our children are watching.  What will we they see?